Although we didn’t have class, we did have conferences which I thought helped improve my personal essay. In my writing, aside from the grammatical mistakes I made, I had a rhythm to my essay. However, that rhythm fell through towards the middle of the essay and my essay felt as if it was explaining the history of my life rather than telling and showing it. This particular part was when I was describing my family, the history and a few background information on where I came from and why I decided to write my persona essay. There were only explanations but not much rhythm or a poetic verse to the history. I lost my voice somewhere along those two paragraphs but I learned to attempt to place the reader in the scene by using words such as “imagine.” Another problem I faced was not putting readers in the scene immediately. In one example, I was describing the situation where I was listening to stories of those being about my father. But rather than placing the readers in the scene, I described the background of what was happening when I should have just showed the reader what was happening. The previous paragraphs were tense moments leading up to the final stories that I can recall, but the tension and momentum was lost when I began telling rather than showing. Overall, I decided to use what I learned in my conferences to reword and remember to be as poetic or rhythmic as possible throughout my personal essay. And to also remember that this particular personal essay is about voicing one’s persona and placing those whom read it into the scene rather than just telling them about it.