The Brave Little Spud

About the Piece

The Brave Little Spud is a written speech from the point of view of a couch potato describing the art of relaxation and taking care of oneself. The speech criticizes how individuals forget to relax while praising the overall idea of being a couch potato, or a spud in this case, as not a bad idea as individuals need to find time to relax and be lazy. Enjoy the read!

The Brave Little Spud
Nick Lee

Sit, relax, and listen.

Three things we forget to do. We forget to sit back and reimagine the world. The world of laughter and peace. We forget to relax after a long sweaty day. We forget to listen to ourselves, to our body. We forget that sometimes laziness is a virtue.

Let us lay on the loveseat. Let us experience the greatest feeling in the world. Sit back on the recliner. Let your feet dangle on the edge. Can you feel the breeze seeping into your socks? The cold wind entering the holes. Then exiting out of your socks. That silent wind tickling your feet. Can you feel the quietness around you? The gentle rocking by your foot. Your heart beating slowly as you relax. There you are on the recliner, resting. Your arms on the sides, no worries, no stress. The only thought you have is the one to relax. You begin to question yourself. Why in the world have you never done this before?

Don’t you remember watching Saturday morning cartoons? But then somehow the morning turned into night. Now you’re watching late night T.V. shows. You haven’t done anything all day long! Dammit, you lazy bum! You had your butt inside the crevasses of your seat. You didn’t move, not even for the bathroom. You did nothing but watch T.V. And you think to yourself, shouldn’t I go out?

You could go out, but do you want to? Probably not. Your brain’s been fried from sitting. Where you’re sitting now is probably burning. That seat is hot. It’s burning! It’s hotter than the pot that burned your hand. That seat is fried now, all thanks to you. Hey, I guess you could call it a sofa spud now! But now, you’re beginning to relax. You’re beginning to listen.

But then, you decide to get up.

Whoa, now your feet’s asleep! You can’t seem to walk. You’ve become an object. You’re no longer human. Yikes! You’re no longer human? Is that even possible? Just a few minutes ago, you were imagining your childhood. You were feeling and thinking about your socks. Emotions and feelings, aren’t they human things? If I’m an object, I can’t feel or think. Wait, can I? Perhaps.

Wait, the idea isn’t about whether you’re human or not. We’re getting off-topic. The idea is to stop being lazy! You were too lazy to get up, and what happened? Your feet fell asleep. And now you’re thinking about not being lazy. You’re thinking about the times you watched Netflix all night. Admit it, you “binged Netflix.” In other words, you couldn’t stop being lazy! Ah, now you understand.

Actually … you don’t.

Being lazy isn’t always bad. Take it from me, I’m a sofa spud! I sit around all day long. I don’t exercise. Chocolate falls on me. I watch Netflix when I can. But I’m still alive, right? I’m still succeeding mentally. I work, but I work as I’m sitting.

Hey, I’m not saying don’t go outside. I’m not saying don’t exercise. But exercise with limits. I can barely walk up that hill to class. Actually, I wish I could walk up that hill! My feet wear out from all that treading. Maybe from months of being reclined. And yes, I did say exercise with limits. Overwork yourself and that’s it for you. You’ll be part of the Earth, like my cousin Toro. Probably not the way you envisioned it.

Sit, relax, and listen.

This is the idea. Don’t be a hero. Don’t be an overachiever. You make the underachievers look bad. Do things with limits. Sit when you can. Relax whenever. Listen to yourself, to stop yourself. Don’t overwork your body. Work towards your dreams and goals. Work towards them, but slowly. Go fast and you’ll pass out. Go slow, and you won’t reach your goals. Take breaks when you can. Reward yourself and be with others.

Sit, relax, and listen.

The value of success is within yourself. Know when to stop. Know when to relax. Know when to take a step back. Listen to yourself, that’s important. Succeed at your own pace. Never succeed at the pace of society. But what do I know? I’m just a peel away from the truth. I’m just a carrot saying random words.

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One Response to The Brave Little Spud

  1. Dominic Sceski says:

    Blahhhhhhh this made me feel lazy

    Like

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